哈佛校报公布2021哈佛录取er的十篇优秀文书,中国申请者写了什么主题?Part 10-新东方前途出国

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    哈佛校报公布2021哈佛录取er的十篇优秀文书,中国申请者写了什么主题?Part 10

    • 美国本科
    • 留学指南
    2021-08-29

    哈佛校报公布2021哈佛录取er的十篇优秀文书,中国申请者写了什么主题?Part 10

    Nikolas:和癌症朋友的相处


    I learned the definition of cancer at the age of fourteen. I was taking my chapter 7 biology test when I came upon the last question, “What is cancer?”, to which I answered: “The abnormal, unrestricted growth of cells.” After handing in the test, I moved on to chapter 8, oblivious then to how earth-shattering such a disease could be.

     

    I learned the meaning of cancer two years later. A girl named Kiersten came into my family by way of my oldest brother who had fallen in love with her. I distinctly recall her hair catching the sea breeze as she walked with us along the Jersey shore, a blonde wave in my surrounding family's sea of brunette. Physically, she may have been different, but she redefined what family meant to me. She attended my concerts, went to my award ceremonies, and helped me study for tests. Whenever I needed support, she was there. Little did I know that our roles would be reversed, forever changing my outlook on life.

     

    Kiersten was diagnosed with Stage II Hodgkin's lymphoma at the age of 22. Tears and hair fell alike after each of her 20 rounds of chemotherapy as we feared the worst. It was an unbearable tragedy watching someone so vivacious skirt the line between life and death. Her cancer was later classified as refractory, or resistant to treatment. Frustration and despair flooded my mind as I heard this news. And so I prayed. In what universe did this dynamic make any sense? I prayed to God and to even her cancer itself to just leave her alone. Eventually, Kiersten was able to leave the hospital to stay for six weeks at my home.

     

    My family and I transformed the house into an antimicrobial sanctuary, protecting Kiersten from any outside illness. I watched TV with her, baked cookies for her, and observed her persistence as she regained strength and achieved remission. We beat biology, time, and death, all at the same time, with cookies, TV, and friendship. Yet I was so concerned with helping Kiersten that I had not realized how she helped me during her battle with cancer.

     

    I had been so used to solving my problems intellectually that when it came time to emotionally support someone, I was afraid. I could define cancer, but what do I say to someone with it? There were days where I did not think I could be optimistic in the face of such adversity. But the beauty that resulted from sympathizing as opposed to analyzing and putting aside my own worries and troubles for someone else was an enormous epiphany for me. My problems dissipated into thin air the moment I came home and dropped my books and bags to talk with Kiersten. The more I talked, laughed, smiled, and shared memories with her, the more I began to realize all that she taught me. She influenced me in the fact that she demonstrated the power of loyalty, companionship, and optimism in the face of desperate, life-threatening situations. She showed me the importance of loving to live and living to love. Most of all, she gave me the insight necessary to fully help others not just with intellect and preparation, but with solidarity and compassion. In this way, I became able to help myself and others with not only my brain, but with my heart. And that, in the words of Robert Frost, “has made all the difference.”

     
     
    # 招生官点评 #

    Nikolas在这篇文章中使用了一种意想不到的方式,分享了一个别人的奋斗故事,他强调了自己内心的变化。他对他哥哥的女朋友Kiersten的感情和联系非常强烈,他也意识到自己试图在经历中找到自己的方向。Nikolas很坦率,写下了他如何在智力上解决问题,但在Kiersten的诊断和治疗过程中,他很难在情绪上应对。最终,他找到了自己的路,对生活有了更深刻的认识,从而分享了一个克服困难、复杂的智力和情感成长的故事。

     

    Nikolas对意象的运用非常出色。我们第一次看到这一点是在文章中,他描述了他对Kiersten的第一印象,她的金发随风飘动在泽西海岸边,这与他家的黑发形成了鲜明的对比。当我们读到下一段时,他的描述就顺理成章了,在这一段中,他谈到了她的癌症的影响。“她接受了20轮化疗后,眼泪和头发都掉了下来,这是我们担心的最糟糕的情况。”他没有明确分享每个人的心碎,而是通过细节让心碎变得非常明显。

     

    这里缺少的一点解释是为什么Kiersten留在Nikolas的家里,而不是回到自己的家里。也许一个简短的解释会帮助读者理解她的位置,并与Nikolas及其家人建立更紧密的联系。此外,Nikolas可能在文章的结尾又迈出了一步,将这种新发现的情感与他生活的其他部分联系起来。最后一段感觉有点重复,一个引人注目的途径可能是展示他是如何接受“热爱生活,为爱而生活”的理念的。尽管如此,Nikolas还是透露了他有能力在逆境中成长,这是招生委员会非常欣赏的性格特征。

    如需进一步了解,或有任何相关疑问,欢迎在线咨询留学专家。如果您对自己是否适合留学还有疑虑,欢迎参与前途出国免费评估,以便给您进行准确定位。


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