什么样的文书，让哈佛看完后直接决定发offer？-新东方前途出国

据统计，2024 Fall共有54,008名学生申请哈佛大学，

最终共有1,937名学生获得哈佛录取，录取率已连续多年低于5%，

今年为历史第三低3.59%，最低纪录为2022年（3.19%）。

面对如此低的录取率，一篇好的文书就显得格外关键！

但是在上万份申请文书中，什么样的故事才能打动招生官？

文书内容较长，记得先转发收藏方便后续慢慢学习哦！

Lunch and recess were opportunities to ‘play’ Stephen Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd, so we murdered our friends. We’d bake the dead into meat pies and scream cacophonously, “WE ALL DESERVE TO DIE!” Nine-year-old me even teased my hair, donned my Mrs. Lovett costume for Halloween, and rambled on about Australian penal colonies and how dead fiddle players make for “stringy” meat. You cannot imagine my disappointment when everybody thought I was Frankenstein’s Bride.

Like Gypsy Rose Lee, my siblings and I spent our formative years at rehearsals and performances, where I was indoctrinated into the cult that worships Sondheim. In our household, Sondheimian theatre was a religion (I’m not sure how I feel about God, but I do believe in Sondheim.) My brother and I read Sondheim’s autobiography, Finishing the Hat, like the bible, reading the book cover to cover and returning to page one the moment we finished. At six, he introduced me to Sondheim’s West Side Story, which illustrates the harms of poverty and systematic racism. Initially, I only appreciated Jerome Robbins’ choreography (Sorry, Mr. Shakespeare). When I revisited the musical years later, I had a visceral reaction as I witnessed young adults engaging in deadly gang rivalries. Experiencing Tony’s gruesome death forced me, a middle-class suburbanite, to feel the devastating effects of inner-city violence, and my belief in the need for early intervention programs to prevent urban gun violence was born.

I began to discover political and historical undertones in all of Sondheim’s work. For example, Assassins whirlwinds from the Lincoln era up to Reagan’s Presidency. Originally, I simply thought it was hysterical to belt Lynette Fromme’s love ballad to Charles Manson. Later, I realized how much history I had unknowingly retained from this musical. The song “November 22, 1963” reflects on America’s most notorious assassination attempts, and alludes to each assassin being motivated by a desperate attempt to connect to a specific individual or culture to gain control over their life. Assassins awakened me to the flaws in some of our quintessential American ideals because the song “Everybody’s Got the Right” illustrates how the American individualism enshrined in our Constitution can be twisted to support hate, harm, and entitlement. I internalized Sondheim’s political commentary, and I see its relevance in America's most pressing issues. The misconstrued idea of limitless freedom can be detrimental to public health, worsening issues such as the climate crisis, gun violence, and the coronavirus pandemic. These existential threats largely stem from antiquated ideas that the rights of the few outweigh the rights of the majority. Ironically, a musical about individuals who tried to dismantle our American political system sparked my political interests, but this speaks to the power of Sondheim’s music and my ability to make connections and draw inspiration from unlikely sources.

Absorbing historical and political commentary set to music allows my statistical and logical brain to better empathize with the characters, giving me a deeper understanding of the conflicts portrayed on stage, almost like reading a diary. Theatremakers are influenced by both history and their life experiences. I internalize their underlying themes and values, and my mindset shifts to reflect the art that I adore. I’m an aspiring political changemaker, and Sondheim’s musicals influence my political opinions by enabling me to empathize with communities living drastically different lives from my own.

Lauren的文书很有冲击力。

文书开头就以《理发师陶德》为主题的课间游戏中快乐地“谋杀”朋友，你就会被深深的吸引住。

这不是一篇普通的个人文书，这是一段对斯蒂芬·桑德海姆痴迷的童年狂野之旅。

在这段童年中，“戏剧是一种宗教”，而《Finishing the Hat 》是圣经。

这篇文章之所以引人注目，是因为Lauren毫不掩饰的热情，她不只是喜欢音乐剧。

《West Side Story 》实际上让她产生了内心的反应，塑造了她的智力成长。

Lauren描述了这些音乐剧的政治背景如何点燃了她对社会正义的热情。

她还展现了一种既善于分析又富有创造力的思维，

将历史歌曲与枪支暴力和疫 情等现代问题联系起来。

我们一直鼓励学生这样做——让你的热情闪耀。

你的大学文书是让你的真实声音得以表达的最 佳场所。

因此，一定要选择一个你真正感兴趣并投入的主题。

这种热情会具有感染力，并会给读者留下持久的印象。

Lauren还出色地保持了一种亲切而可爱的语气

（“我不确定我对上帝的看法，但我相信桑德海姆”）。

Three days before I got on a plane to go across the country for six weeks I quit milk cold-turkey. I had gone to the chiropractor to get a general check up. I knew I had scoliosis and other problems; however, I learned that because of my excessive, to say the least, intake of milk my body had developed a hormone imbalance. I decided it would be best for my health to completely stop drinking milk and avoid dairy when possible. Little did I know, this was only the start of a summer of change; three days later I got on a plane to attend the Minority Introduction To Engineering and Science (MITES) program in Massachusetts.

I assumed that most of the people were going to be unhealthily competitive because of my past experiences. I thought I would keep to myself, do my work, and come back no different. Living in a building with 80 people I’ve never met in a place I’ve never been while making a significant life style change was not easy. The first few days were not kind: I got mild stomach ulcers, it was awkward, and I felt out of place. That first Thursday night however, all of that started to change. On Thursday evenings we had “Family Meetings” and on this particular Thursday part of our Machine Learning class was working together when the time came to go to the dining hall for whatever this “Family Meeting” was. Honestly we dreaded it at first, “I have work to do” was the most common phrase. We learned that “Family Meeting” was a safe space for us to talk about anything and everything. Today’s theme was, “what’s something important about your identity that makes you unique?” but the conversation quickly evolved into so much more. People spoke about losing family members, being shunned at home, not feeling comfortable in their own skin, and more. So many people opened up about incredibly personal things, I felt honored to be given that trust. The room was somber and warm with empathy as the meeting concluded. Out of my peripheral vision I saw Izzy, one of my Machine Learning classmates, rushing back to the conference room. I realized something was not right. Instinctively, I followed her back to where we were working. Izzy sat down and immediately broke down, the rest of us filed in as she started to talk about what was wrong. It felt as though an ambulance was sitting on my chest, my breaths were short and stingy. I was afraid; afraid my support wouldn’t be good enough, afraid to show that I cared, afraid they didn’t care for me. In this one moment all my insecurities, some I didn’t even know I had, came to the surface. The heavy silence of hushed sobbing was broken by an outpouring of support and a hug. We all started sharing what we’re going through and even some of our past trauma. Slowly that weight is lifted off my chest. I feel comfortable, I feel wanted, I feel safe.

Francisco的文书《我上飞机前三天》描述了他参与麻省理工学院的少数族裔工程与科学入门 (MITES) 项目的经历，

这也是他内省之旅的背景。

故事从一个看似微不足道的决定开始——出于健康原因放弃喝牛奶——但很快就变成了改变生活的事件的隐喻。

这篇文书巧妙地利用了这种内在的转变，安排了一个夏天，

从根本上改变了Francisco对自己和与他人互动的看法。

他一开始对 MITES 项目感到紧张，

因为他预计这是一个竞争非常激烈的环境，会让他感到更加孤独。

他在项目初期遇到的身体和心理困难——例如轻微的胃溃疡和强烈的疏离感——加剧了这种担忧。

但在该计划每周举行的“家庭会议”上，故事发生了戏剧性的转折。

会议旨在鼓励成员之间坦诚对话和支持。

此时，Francisco经历了重大转变。

一次会议的主题是“你的身份中有什么重要的东西让你与众不同？”，

后来逐渐演变成越来越详细、亲密的揭露，

使聚会变成了一个充满同情和脆弱的环境。

Francisco被他的同龄人分享个人问题的坦率所深深感动，

这促使他重新考虑他如何对待该计划和他的同龄人。

Francisco 的文书出色地说明了社区和坦诚的对话如何对个人发展产生重大影响。

他的经历证明了学习环境中安全空间的价值以及同理心的变革潜力。

I’m hiding behind the swing door of the dressing room when I text my mom just one word: “Traumatizing!” I’m on a bra-shopping expedition with my grandmother, and just in case it’s not abundantly clear, this trip was Not. My. Idea. Bra shopping has always been shrouded in mystery for me, and growing up in a household with two moms and two younger sisters hasn’t helped one bit: One of my moms doesn’t wear bras; the other proudly proclaims that her bras are older than me. A two-mom family without the faintest idea what a teenage girl needs—par for the course around here.

So when my 78-year-old grandmother volunteered to take me bra shopping, my moms jumped at the chance. Here I was with my frugal grandmother, outlet-shopping among the racks of intimates that aren’t sized quite right, that have too much padding or too little…You can see my predicament, and it’s no surprise that my younger self was confused by the words “wire-free,” “concealing petals,” “balconette.”

The saleswoman called to my grandmother from across the store, “What cup size is she?”

“I don’t know,” my grandmother screamed back. “Can you measure her?”

Measure me? They have got to be kidding.

***

“I just don’t want her to feel different,” I heard my grandmother say later that day. “Kids this age can be so mean.”

I love my grandmother, but she believes the world is harsh and unforgiving, and she thinks that the only path to happiness is fitting in. My grandmother had taken me bra shopping in a last-ditch attempt to make me “normal” because I was entering 9th grade at Deerfield in a few weeks, and she worried that I would stick out worse than the underwire of a bargain basement bra.

It’s true—I’m not your typical Deerfield student. I’m a day student with lesbian moms who have several fewer zeros on their bank account balance than typical Deerfield parents. I’m the kid with a congenital foot deformity, which means I literally can’t run, who will never be able to sprint across campus from classroom to classroom. I’m the kid with life-threatening food allergies to milk and tree nuts who can’t indulge in the pizza at swim team celebrations or the festive cake and ice cream during advisory meetings.

But fitting in was my grandmother’s worry, not mine. What my grandmother didn’t consider is that there’s no single way to fit in. I might be two minutes later to class than the sprinters, but I always arrive. I might have to explain to my friends what “having two moms” means, but I’ll never stop being thankful that Deerfield students are eager to lean in and understand. I may not be able to eat the food, but you can count on me to show up and celebrate.

While I can’t run, I can swim and play water polo, and I can walk the campus giving Admissions tours. My family might not look like everyone else’s, but I can embrace those differences and write articles for the school newspaper or give a talk at “School Meeting,” sharing my family and my journey. Some of my closest friendships at Deerfield have grown from a willingness on both sides to embrace difference.

Orlee在文书中分享她正在买胸罩，身边还有溺爱她的祖母，

出乎意料地将我们带入了她勇敢选择分享尴尬、“令人痛苦”的时刻。

几秒钟后，我们还认识了她自称对时尚一窍不通的两位妈妈。

这只是第一段，我已经喜欢上她了。

平均每篇文章只有几分钟的阅读时间，

招生读者会想知道这篇文章的走向。

一开始，我们就知道Orlee的祖母对世界的看法是“严厉和无情的”，

这使她保护Orlee，而她提出的解决方案是帮助 Orlee融入社会，这样她就会被视为“正常人”。

起初，我们认为这篇文章是关于青少年焦虑的，但出乎意料的是，Orlee很快让我们知道，

她祖母对她融入社会的担忧既不无道理，也并非毫无根据。

Orlee透露，她患有先天性足部畸形，这限制了她跑步的能力，

并且患有严重的、危及生命的食物过敏症。

现在她引起了我们的注意，她巧妙地编织了她日常生活的更多快照，

展示了她如何勇敢地选择在困难时刻出现。

她直截了当的描述并不具有操纵性，相反，她的态度是乐观的。

我们了解到她的毅力，以及她总是迎接挑战。

她展示了她如何找到为自己创造空间的方法，以便她能够被包容，

她理所当然地不会为她的身体挑战请求许可或道歉。

考虑到其他人可能因为她明显的身体缺陷而迅速将她归类，

Orlee立即将重点放在了她在校园中可以贡献的众多优势上，

并提供了几个清晰的例子来说明她如何全身心投入并克服他人的负面看法。

她向我们讲述了她作为一名团队成员丰富学校的无数方法，

以免我们陷入低估她能力的不幸陷阱。

Orlee设定了鼓舞人心的人生目标，她可爱的高中愿望清单也即将完成。

这位学生不怕努力，不怕实现，她过着最 好的生活，我发现自己为她欢呼！

这篇文书之所以成功，是因为它告诉我们Orlee 是谁，她是如何成长起来的，

她重视朋友和队友，并将把同样的能量带给她的大学社区。