Orlee's Essay
I’m hiding behind the swing door of the dressing room when I text my mom just one word: “Traumatizing!” I’m on a bra-shopping expedition with my grandmother, and just in case it’s not abundantly clear, this trip was Not. My. Idea. Bra shopping has always been shrouded in mystery for me, and growing up in a household with two moms and two younger sisters hasn’t helped one bit: One of my moms doesn’t wear bras; the other proudly proclaims that her bras are older than me. A two-mom family without the faintest idea what a teenage girl needs—par for the course around here.
So when my 78-year-old grandmother volunteered to take me bra shopping, my moms jumped at the chance. Here I was with my frugal grandmother, outlet-shopping among the racks of intimates that aren’t sized quite right, that have too much padding or too little…You can see my predicament, and it’s no surprise that my younger self was confused by the words “wire-free,” “concealing petals,” “balconette.”
The saleswoman called to my grandmother from across the store, “What cup size is she?”
“I don’t know,” my grandmother screamed back. “Can you measure her?”
Measure me? They have got to be kidding.
“I just don’t want her to feel different,” I heard my grandmother say later that day. “Kids this age can be so mean.”
I love my grandmother, but she believes the world is harsh and unforgiving, and she thinks that the only path to happiness is fitting in. My grandmother had taken me bra shopping in a last-ditch attempt to make me “normal” because I was entering 9th grade at Deerfield in a few weeks, and she worried that I would stick out worse than the underwire of a bargain basement bra.
It’s true—I’m not your typical Deerfield student. I’m a day student with lesbian moms who have several fewer zeros on their bank account balance than typical Deerfield parents. I’m the kid with a congenital foot deformity, which means I literally can’t run, who will never be able to sprint across campus from classroom to classroom. I’m the kid with life-threatening food allergies to milk and tree nuts who can’t indulge in the pizza at swim team celebrations or the festive cake and ice cream during advisory meetings.
But fitting in was my grandmother’s worry, not mine. What my grandmother didn’t consider is that there’s no single way to fit in. I might be two minutes later to class than the sprinters, but I always arrive. I might have to explain to my friends what “having two moms” means, but I’ll never stop being thankful that Deerfield students are eager to lean in and understand. I may not be able to eat the food, but you can count on me to show up and celebrate.
While I can’t run, I can swim and play water polo, and I can walk the campus giving Admissions tours. My family might not look like everyone else’s, but I can embrace those differences and write articles for the school newspaper or give a talk at “School Meeting,” sharing my family and my journey. Some of my closest friendships at Deerfield have grown from a willingness on both sides to embrace difference.
On one of the first days of 9th grade, I sat down to write a “Deerfield Bucket List”—a list of experiences that I wanted to have during my four years in high school, including taking a Deerfield international trip and making the Varsity swim team. That list included thirteen items, and I’m eleven-thirteenths of the way there, not because I have the right bra, but because I’ve embraced the very thing that my grandmother was afraid of. Bra shopping is still shrouded in mystery for me, but I know that I am where I should be, I’m doing work that matters to me, and fitting in rarely crosses my mind.
顾问点评（中文）
真正的“与众不同”，反而成为了成长底色
文书片段回顾：
“我正躲在试衣间的门后，偷偷给妈妈发短信：‘太尴尬了！’ 这是和外婆的内衣购物之旅——绝不是我自愿的。成长于两个妈妈和两个妹妹的家庭，我一直觉得内衣选购是一门谜一般的‘学问’。结果外婆主动请缨带我去逛商场，两位妈妈立刻点头同意。试穿、被销售员大声询问尺码……对初中的我来说，尴尬程度堪比公开演讲。”
开篇用极具画面感的细节，把读者迅速带入主人公的成长环境。
顾问点评：一篇不走寻常路的自我表达
1. 选题突破传统，敢于自嘲与袒露“不完美”
多数申请者喜欢展示“完美”或成功，但Orlee从生活的尴尬小事切入，反而更显真诚、可爱，直击人心。
2. 巧妙转折，讲述“特殊”身份背后的自洽
家庭结构、经济条件、身体状况、饮食过敏——这些“特殊标签”，没有成为自我设限的理由，而是轻描淡写中展现出乐观和幽默。
3. 用行动回应偏见，强调积极参与和价值创造
文中大量细节展现：无论多“不同”，她都用实际行动积极融入社群、创造价值、组织活动、为同伴鼓劲。
4. 细节支撑成长，避免“标签化自我感动”
她不自怜、不煽情。不会跑步，但可以游泳、讲解校园；家庭不常规，但用演讲、写作、陪伴朋友传递温暖。
5. 成长清单结尾，收放有度，余韵悠长
“成长清单”结尾既呼应了开篇的小尴尬，也点出了自我接纳与突破的成长主题——“适合自己的才是真的好”。
顾问建议
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选题可以生活化，关键看你的思考和成长。
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不必掩饰“不完美”，真实最打动人。
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多用具体事例，少用大话空话。
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结尾点到为止，留有余味。
总结：
真正打动人心的美本文书，不在于“高大上”，而在于你的真实个性、生活细节和成长心态。每个人的与众不同，都可能是优势。你的故事，就是好的答案。
