哈佛申请揭秘：10篇真实文书，如何写出属于你的独特故事？（三）-新东方前途出国

I woke up one morning to the usual noise in the kitchen. “That plate of porridge is mine,” my brother yelled outrageously at my sister, “leave it or else I will beat you up.” Food scrambles and fights were order of the day in the family I was raised. The size of one’s meal would be determined by one’s age. You had to fight for food at times, or else hunger would eat you alive. Living with ten siblings in a polygamous family is not the definition of tranquility. However, I have learned more from this revolving door than I could have been taught in solitary silence. Beyond chaos, there is a whisper that teaches the benefits of unselfish concern.

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My mother was a teacher, but her salary could not sustain the big family. Almost every day, she would wake up early in the morning before work and go to the fields. My parents were shadowy figures whose voices I heard vaguely in the morning when sleep was shallow, and whom I glimpsed with irresistibly heavy eye-lids as they trudged wearily into the house at night. We sat together as a whole family on special occasions. After a bumper harvest, my parents would sell their crops in the neighborhood. I vividly remember my mother counting proceeds from the crop sale, her dark face grim, and I think now, beautiful. Not with the hollow beauty of well-simulated features, but with a strong radiance of one who has suffered and never yielded. “This is for your school fees arrears,” she would murmur making a little pile. “This is for the groceries that we borrowed from Mr Kibe’s store,” and so on. The list was endless. We would survive at least for the present.

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My father instilled in me the importance of education. I would see the value of education every time I shook hands with him; the scratches and calluses from the field in his hands were enough motivation. After every award I received, he would firmly shake my hands as a sign of profound pride. My tacit prayer was to ease his pain one day. Unfortunately this was never to come true, he died on 5 February 2016 in a car accident, only a week before I received my IGCSE O LEVEL results and I had attained 14 straight A grades, standing out to be one of the top performers in the country. After my father’s death, his brothers took everything that he had acquired.

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Inevitably, circumstances forced me to take a break from school in January 2017 and bear my share of the eternal burden at home. I had to take care of my mother whose health was deteriorating. I would spend the day doing household chores, and the nights were times of intensive study. It was on my mother’s deathbed when I was fully convinced that she was a seasoned fighter. “Barry,” she called me, “I am not going to die till you finish school.” In order not to disillusion that extraordinary faith in her voice, I assured her that she was going to live. Unfortunately, she succumbed to death on the 15th of March 2017. I “died” with her. My belief in the God she had ardently prayed to till the time of her demise was shaken.

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Already laid waste by poverty and pain, I went back to school through the generosity of strangers. School became a battleground for victory. I came back to life determined than ever before. I out-performed the country boys who mocked my struggle. I went on to win accolades in the National and Regional Mathematics Olympiads and was awarded the Higher Life Foundation Scholarship that was going to pay my fees throughout high school.

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Today, I am an epitome of a black, double-orphaned, African boy who lost everything he ever valued, but refused to give up on his dream.

在混乱中学会坚韧：来自非洲孤儿的哈佛申请文书启示录

📝 学生原文摘要：

Barry 出生于一个拥有十几个孩子的非洲大家庭，在家庭混乱、贫困与亲人接连离世的背景下，坚守教育信念，最终凭借数学奥赛获奖和奖学金重返校园。他用朴实但动情的文字，讲述了一个孩子如何在逆境中“重生”，并凭借不屈意志走出困境。

🎓 顾问点评：以沉稳笔触呈现“真实”，比任何修辞都有力

1️⃣ 情节真实，不煽情，却令人动容
Barry 的文书并不依赖华丽辞藻，而是以一种近乎纪实的方式，讲述自己如何在父母相继离世后坚守求学之路。正是这种克制与诚实，让他的故事更具说服力。招生官阅读这类文书时，更容易看到一个真实的人，而不仅仅是一个为了申请精心包装的人设。

2️⃣ 结构清晰，以“家庭-困境-重启”为主线
文书清晰地呈现三个阶段：

• 家庭背景与早期教育价值观（混乱、勤劳、教育信念）

• 重大打击（父母去世、信仰崩塌、辍学）

• 复苏与突破（他人援助、奥赛获奖、奖学金）

这种时间轴式的写法，帮助读者从故事全貌中感知主人公的成长脉络。

3️⃣ 价值观强烈但不自我标榜
Barry 并没有一再强调“我很坚强”，而是让每一段经历去证明他的抗压能力、自我驱动与韧性。这种“事实胜于口号”的写法，是所有希望通过经历打动招生官的申请人可以借鉴的。

✅ 顾问建议：

✍️ 总结一句话：

Barry 这篇文书告诉我们，真正令人信服的不是“我要上哈佛”的野心，而是“我从哪走来，我为什么不能停”的坚持。