微信扫一扫
1.
“Being a major of Chinese Language and Literature at Beijing Normal University, a top university in China, I have gained substantial knowledge and outstanding skills such as writing and speaking within the regarding field after being enlightened with a wide variety of courses. ”
典型的前后主语不一致，“Being a major of Chinese Language and Literature at Beijing Normal University”主语是major，“a top university in China”同位语成分，“I have gained…”主语为I， 应该改为”Being a student majored in Chinese Language and Literature at Beijing Normal University, which is a top university in China, I have gained…”
2.
“This motivation inspired me to take a major of journalism at Qingdao University in September 2016.”
主谓搭配错误，词汇用法错误。Inspire的主语一般是事物或人，不能是主观现象，motivation动机为主观现象。应改为This motivated me to study… at …
3.
“I need to expand my knowledge and skills in existence by taking your course.”
动宾不搭配， expand这个谓语动词与后面的宾语不搭配，应改为Taking your course will enrich my knowledge and enhance my skills.
4.
“My abundant working experience made me realised that the media profession is different from traditional academic professions that the creativity and the practice on the theory foundation have been added to media studies.”
复杂句应用错误，当断不断。My abundant working experience made me realised that the media profession is different from traditional academic professions. 句号结尾，如果像原文一样，后面接that的话，此处构不成任何一种从句，成分混乱。
5.
“It still drives my vision of the development of the media industry in worldwide and motivates me into making a decision in what I would like to do research in media field after graduation and combine eastern and western cultures to find the way of integration of eastern and western cultures in the theory of news communication.”
词句有多处错误，drive vision动宾不搭配，motivate sb. to do sth., making a decision on后面不能接表示意愿的从句，可接名词、代词。后面当断不断，应改为it will enable me to combine…, 结尾状语用法不对，表意不明。
