【沈阳新东方前途出国留学】不简单！哈佛大学公认的7篇优秀文书，看完灵感爆棚-新东方前途出国

　　With the blazing morning sun beaming through the window, I had an inclination to make a stand to sell Lebanese laymounada - a light lemonade flavored with a splash of rosewater. Throughout my childhood, anytime the temperature spiked over seventy degrees, there would be laymounada waiting for me at my Teta’s (grandmother in Lebanese Arabic) house. 

　　At that moment, I scoured the cabinets and secured the glass pitcher only to realize we did not have lemons. To my disappointment, I realized my days of being an entrepreneur and generating revenue from my laymounada stand were over before they could even begin. I sat at the kitchen table, wallowing in disappointment. I wanted everyone to be able to taste my Teta’s laymounada. Suddenly, I had an idea that would either prove to be inventive or a total failure. I would sell lemonade without the lemons. Revolutionary, right? 

　　I ripped off a rectangular sheet of paper towel and jotted down my business plan. I listed the key elements of the business plan: a drawing of a cup, a rose, and the price- “fifty scents”- to correlate with the rose-themed business. I sat outside of my childhood home located in a cul-de-sac of five houses and sold my neighbors a rose drink- a combination of filtered water, packets of sugar, and a dash of rosewater. Granted, I only made about $10 from a combination of my parents and generous neighbors who did not drink the “lemonade”, but the experience allowed me to realize regardless of the obstacle, if you are passionate, you can persevere. Teta’s laymounada was my introduction to entrepreneurship. 

　　The entrepreneurial skills gained from my laymounada stand allowed me to establish A&G Jewelry, co-founded with my sister when I was twelve. This business focused on representing our Lebanese heritage. Using supplies we found around our house and from our local craft store, we created a variety of pieces that featured traditional Middle Eastern coins, beads, and clay baked into the shape of Lebanon. My sister and I collaborated to create marketing tools to promote our new business. Before we knew it, A&G Jewelry had earned a spot at my church’s annual Lebanese festival. After tirelessly marketing and selling our jewelry for three days straight, we had made over $900 in revenue, which we decided to donate to the church. 

　　Entrepreneurship took a new form in high school when my sister and I founded our second partnership, The Model Brockton City Council. We saw a need to engage our peers in local government by designing a simulation of our city council. We had to collect signatures, present to many administrators, and market our new club. The initial goal to have more people try my lemonade resonated with me as I strived to have more people engage in their civic duties. Today, over twenty-five of my classmates frequently attend my meetings. 

　　With my first business venture selling laymounada, I made $10; with A&G Jewelry, $900; with the Model Brockton City Council, the revenue amounted to $0. Although there was not a financial gain, I attained experience as a negotiator, problem solver, creative thinker, and most importantly, I became persistent. 

　　Twelve years have passed since that summer day with my “laymounada,” and I have yet to maintain a long-lasting business. My six-year-old self would have seen this lack of continuity as a colossal failure, but instead, it instilled an intense curiosity in me. Little did I know the experience would remain so vivid after all these years. It has continued to push me, compelling me to challenge myself both academically and entrepreneurially. As I grow older, my intrinsic drive to have a lemonade stand, regardless of whatever obstacles come my way, persists as a deep-seated love of business. 

　　When life doesn’t give you lemons, still make lemonade (or laymounada, as my Teta would say). 

　　哈佛点评： 

　　优秀的大学文书都遵循一个简单的公式：钩子（ Hook ）+锚点（Anchor）+故事（Story）+成长（Growth）。 

　　虽然具体细节可能有所不同，但如果你能包含这四个要素，你就会写出一篇引人入胜的文章。 

• 　　钩子:“钩子”的作用就是吸引读者。招生官每天都会阅读数百篇论文，因此用有趣或不同的东西尽快吸引他们的注意力非常重要。 

• 　　锚点:“锚点”是连接整篇文章并赋予其意义的想法或主题。好的主题是发人深省的，让读者读后感到满足。 

• 　　故事：讲故事的黄金法则是“展示，而不是讲述”。不要只是告诉招生人员你是一个多么出色的人，而是要尝试通过你的故事向他们展示你的个性、性格和成就。 

• 　　成长：所有优秀的大学文书都会清楚地展示你如何从你的经历中成长。一定要强调你从经验中学到或获得的东西。 

　　这篇文书成功的原因就是抓住了四个关键要素--吸引力、锚点、故事和成长。 

　　2.Abby's Essay

　　招生官点评：Abby使用了一种我称之为“过道文章”的方法。 

　　想象一下，推着购物车穿过杂货店，选择你最喜欢的食物，把它们放在购物车里。“过道文章”是指作者推着购物车穿过她的过去、现在和未来，沿途收集她的轶事、兴趣和价值观。把购物车想象成这篇文章的背景。Abby的购物车是巴诺书店的。坚实的背景使文章在一些容易描绘的世界中扎根，使Abby能够深入到她生活的不同方面，而不会使文章看起来分散。 

　　Abby以明显的核心价值观结束了这篇文章：感恩。她并没有戏剧性地声称她将改变或拯救世界。相反，她只是让人们看到了自己的真实身份：一个充满好奇心、经常光顾书店的女孩一一一个受到过去启发并冲进未来的桃花心木大门的女孩。 

　　3.Samantha C.

　　读完第一句话后，我想读更多。到了第三句话的时候，我已经迫不及待地想要见到这个学生了！ 

　　这篇文章的成功是因为我们不仅深入了解了他们与生俱来的好奇心和想象力，而且我们了解了他们的个人成长。我们看到学生变得更加自信，并在更大的社区中找到了自己的位置。流行文化和历史典故是一种很好的接触，使写作变得人性化，同时使其具有很强的可读性。但最重要的是，有一条成长的叙事线索。 

　　学生们偶尔会取得一些成就，这些成就是成长的里程碑，但这并不像是一份简历或一份人为的清单……当我们了解他们的创作过程以及故事在他们生活中的重要性时，这一切最终都会汇集在一起。 

　　好奇、有创造力、关心他人······以及个人成长感。许多伟大的主题和个人特质让读者不仅喜欢这个学生，而且想认识他们。 

　　4.Simar B.

　　从文章开头，Simar就把我们带入了一个有意义的成长叙事，尽管如此独特，但却普遍可以理解。所选的题目是理想的，因为它不仅发人深省，而且具有启发性；虽然不是所有的读者都必须面对属于锡克教的社会和文化责任和影响，但Simar以强烈而感人的清晰度将这种斗争揭示出来。 

　　通过他们的故事，他们巧妙地将自己文化和宗教的独特挑战融入到重新找回自己身份和成为真正的自己的强大体验中。在这样做的过程中，学生巧妙地展示了他们有自我理解、内在力量和成长的能力，这些都是打破和重塑自出生以来定义我们的限制所必需的。Simar用一种坚定的、清晰的声音完成了这一切，积极抵制用极端的词汇选择或夸张的语气夸大他们的斗争的常见诱惑，这些诱惑可能会给招生读者留下不好的印象。相反，这本书的语气仍然非常真实，在面对挫折和逆境时总是表现得诚实和实事求是，并提供了几个现实生活中的例子。 

　　文章是很好的例子，说明个人陈述不需要普遍以“幸福的结局”为特色，也不需要以轻松愉快和感激的中心语气来展示成长。Simar出色地以沉思、体贴和赋权的方式处理了我们通常认为的“沉重”话题。 

　　5.The Color of Everything