【本文系转载】 个人陈述,千万不要写成这样!-新东方前途出国

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    【本文系转载】 个人陈述,千万不要写成这样!

    2015-08-13
                            

    声明:

    1. 尽管为新东方前途留学个人官方博客,博客内容只代表个人观点。

    2. 本博客所有原创内容如需转载,请务必先联系博主,在授权转载后,请注明出处。

    3. 本博客使用的图片,视频字幕翻译均为博主自己制作。请勿用于任何商业用途。

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    【本文系转载】

    个人陈述,千万不要写成这样!

    Have you ever abandoned a book after the first few chapters? How about skipped a news article because the headline was confusing or uninteresting? If you have then you already intuitively know what I'm going to say: in writing, the introduction is everything. A writer who fails to catch and keep his audience's attention is likely to be a writer with no audience at all.

     

    你是否曾经打开一本书,却在翻阅几章之后就随手丢弃、不了了之?你是否也曾经在阅读时跳过那些标题又臭又长又无聊的文章?如果你有过类似经历,那你对于我接下来要说的东西一定有非常直接的了解:写作中,吸引读者是第一要义。一个不能吸引读者、甚至连读者眼球都抓不住的作者,基本上就相当于被人宣判没有受众的死刑。

     

    This principle is an important one to remember when writing your personal statement for a university application, particularly these days when the process can be so competitive. If you want your application to stand out among hundreds or even thousands of others, you need to hook your reader as quickly as possible, and make him want to keep reading your essay. If he's unimpressed or interested by your writing after the first paragraph, it's unlikely you'll be able to change his opinion in the remainder of what you have to say ( if he even reads it).

     

    当你在为大学申请准备个人陈述的时候——特别是在整个过程竞争日趋激烈的情况下——这条规矩绝对是你所有原则中的重中之重。倘若你希望自己的申请文书在众多竞争者中一枝独秀,那么你必须做到的一件事就是尽可能迅速地吸引审阅官的注意力,并且能让他愿意继续阅读。假如他在读完你文章的第一段之后就失去了继续的兴趣,即便他没有停止浏览,利用文章剩余部分来改变他看法也是不大可能的事情。

     

    That sounds like a lot of pressure for a few sentences of writing, and in the face of such pressure, it's tempting to resort to writing tactics that are gimmicky or unoriginal. In this first of a two-part post, we identify some common mistakes people make when writing their personal statement introductions, and provide some alternative strategies that can help you avoid these missteps.

     

    我知道这听起来可能会让人觉得鸭梨山大,所以若想应对好这份压力,写作时运用一些巧妙、新颖的技巧无疑是一个具有诱惑力的想法。在这篇博文里,我们会列出一些人们在写个人陈述开头时常犯的错误,以及一些帮助你绕开误区的策略。

     

    Personal Statement Don'ts:

     

    个人陈述禁行令:

     

    1.Say no to clichés. Think about it: The purpose of your essay is to show reviewers who you are as an individual, and why oh-so-special-you can contribute to their institution's new class in a way that no one else can. The WORST way to establish your unique voice and identity is to open your personal statement with familiar words that the reader hears every day, coming out of other people's mouths. "What goes up must come down." "All that glitters is not gold." "Home is where the heart is." It can be so tempting to resort to familiar phrases, especially as a starting point, but trust us - even if it's catchy, even if it's the overall point you want to make anyway don't do it! Beware of trite constructions too (eg, "I never knew / cared about / understand [blank] until I met [blank]." "If it weren't for [blank], I wouldn't be who I am today "). Lead with yourself, your voice.

     

    1.和老生常谈说拜拜拍拍脑袋好好想想:你写文章的目的是为了告诉审阅官一个真实的你是怎样的、以及为什么这么独一无二得天独厚的你能给这所机构的新班级带去其他人都难以企及的贡献。开篇时介绍自己的最最糟糕的方式就是堆砌一些审阅官已经从别人那里看腻的词句。常言道,物极必反闪闪发光的未必都是金子心在哪里,家在哪里。使用的熟悉稳妥的词句对每一个人来说都是很有诱惑力的,尤其是在写开头的时候,但相信我——就算它很夺人眼球!就算它就是你想表达的一切!——别用它们。同样,结构上的老套无聊也应该引起你的注意(比如,我在遇到XX之前从来不了解/知道/关心过XX”,或是如果不是XXX,我一定不会成为今天的这个自己)。你要用你自己的个性、自己的声音来统领自己文章的写作。

     

    2.Avoid sensationalism or hyperbole. Let's be honest: any sentence that starts with "The most challenging .." or "The best ..." or "The single most important ..." is almost certainly an exaggeration. It's also kind of boring, and unlikely to make you stand out in a crowd of applicants. It's true that many application questions will ask you to reflect on important events or lessons in your life, but try not to escalate this one event into something larger-than-life. If your story is truly unique and compelling, it will stand out. If it isn't, labeling it as The Best or The Most Important will not help.

     

    2.哗众取宠不可取。不妨我们大家都诚实一点:诸如最有挑战的就是……”“……”或者最最重要的事情就是……”一类的句子绝对是一种夸张。而这种夸张无疑也非常无聊,也就更不会让你从成百上千的申请者中脱颖而出。我承认,很多申请表格上的问题都会要你回顾自己经历过的一些重大事件或课程,但千万不要把这事儿上升到什么关乎生死的高度。如果你的故事本身就是独特且迷人的,不用修饰它也会变得引人注目;如果它本就不是,人为给它贴上最棒或是最重要的标签也无济于事。

     

    3.Don't be overly cryptic. "There was no way I could have known." "In a single moment, my life changed forever." "I never saw it coming." Your statement is not a mystery novel. You do want to hook the reader, but try to avoid melodrama as a means of doing so. Dramatic writing like this also has a way of divorcing you, the writer, from you, the thinking-feeling person who experienced the story you are now recounting. You don 't want your statement to sound like a story you are telling about someone else - this is you, talking about your own life and your own feelings and experiences Stay present in your own writing.

     

    3.别太装。我根本没法知道……”“在那一瞬间,我的整个人生都发生了改变”“我从未预见到这事的发生”——打住,你的个人陈述不是什么悬疑小说。当然,你确实需要吸引读者,不过拜托你尽量避免这种刻意设置出的狗血情景剧。像这样的戏剧化写作无形中也会把你自己分离,把写作的你和亲身经历过、感受过事情发生的你分隔开。你一定不希望自己的个人陈述写出来以后感觉像是讲了一个别人的故事——这是你的事情,讲述的是你的生活、你的感受和你的经历。所以,在你的写作中保持现状就好。

     

     

    【更多留学资讯尽在山东新东方前途出国官方网站https://liuxue.xdf.cn/jinan/ ,新浪微博@山东新东方前途出国,官方微信号:qt86959978,留学热线:0531-86959978。山东新东方前途出国留学,助您迈步美加英澳新欧亚世界名校。】

     

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